The weirdest thing about this is the lack of accountability. I've become conditioned to think about someone else without realising it - I'm starting to get used to it I think, but it keeps throwing me off balance. Visiting friends and coming back when the evening has naturally concluded, not when I said I would be back; yet in my mind I have moments of "shit what time is it?"
It's like I've had iron bands around my chest and now they're gone, but I'm having to force myself to take deep gulps of air and allow my body to adjust. The flat is a strange place, it echoes of partnership. I've put the obvious things away, but so many little items that seem innocuous are actually strongly linked to the past. I have the urge to purge (hah catchphrase!), but I'm not ready yet - it would seem a bit too brutal and harsh I think.
For the first time in my life I'm living in a place I want to be, surrounded by people I care about and my life isn't a complete mess. I have to know what it's like to just be me.
1 comment:
Your home is where your soul is. Living spaces are just that, a place to put down your gear, sleep, eat. It's good when the two can intersect though :-)
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